Networking At Networking Mixers

Most leaders receive the same early advice: Don’t let them see you sweat. Stay confident. Always be on. It’s common advice. And it’s bad advice. Credibility in leadership isn’t built through flawless performance. It’s built through vulnerability — specifically, the willingness to go first. When leaders admit mistakes, acknowledge limits, or ask for help, they demonstrate security. More importantly, they create safety for others to do the same. Without safety, people protect themselves. And teams don’t get healthy that way. The most credible leaders don’t hide their humanity. They’re secure enough to lead with it.

Hate small talk? You’re not alone. But here’s the truth: you can’t skip it - especially at work. Whether you’re building trust with a new hire, meeting a client, or reconnecting with an old colleague, small talk is the first step towards the conversations you ACTUALLY want to have. Harvard Business School professor Dr. Alison Wood Brooks told me on The Mel Robbins Podcast that even though small talk feels pointless, it’s not. It’s a warm-up - the social “pregame.” Small talk done right will move you up the “conversation pyramid.” Take, for instance, getting to know your new hire: Small Talk (“how’s your week going?”) → Tailored Talk (“that initiative you proposed last week sounds interesting - tell me more!”) → Deep Talk (“is this the type of work that energizes you the most?”) Start with a basic but genuine question. Look for shared energy. Then ask a follow-up. That’s how we get to meaningful conversations - and better working relationships. Now I know what you’re thinking: the goal might not always be to reach “deep talk.” Sometimes that’s not necessary or appropriate - especially at the office. But that doesn’t mean small talk is meaningless. Even a simple check-in or a little surface-level curiosity can signal something important: I see you. I’m paying attention. I care about getting to know you. And sometimes that’s all it takes to start building trust. This is just one of the insights Dr. Brooks shared during our conversation on The Mel Robbins Podcast. You’ll be a better conversationalist after listening. It’s linked in the comments.

Over the next 3 months, I’m hosting 4 major events in France, UK, USA and KSA. Beforehand, I want to share my top tips on how to get the best out of networking. 1. Set Clear Targets Action: Make a hit list of the top 10 companies or people you need to meet. Research what they care about—know their wins, pain points, & what they’re hunting for before you walk through the door. Outcome: These conversations won’t just happen by chance. By doing your homework, you’ll turn a five-minute chat into a deal-building moment. Schedule meetings in advance, & after the event, send a tailored follow-up email that shows you were listening. 2. Take the Stage (Literally) Action: Get on the agenda. Whether it’s a keynote, panel, or fireside chat, nothing says “I’m the one to watch” like holding the mic. Use this time to address the industry’s biggest challenges & position yourself—& your company—as the answer. Outcome: Speaking builds instant credibility. It’s not just exposure; it’s authority. Post-event, share the highlights on LinkedIn & invite attendees to continue the conversation, turning an audience into a lead pipeline. 3. Own the Floor Action: Don’t just lurk—work the room. Engage with key exhibitors, ask questions, & position yourself as a resource, not just another pitch. Be direct but curious: “What’s your biggest challenge this year?” and “How can I help?” are powerful openers. Outcome: You’ll stand out as someone who listens. Take notes during conversations, & follow up within 48 hours with a personalised message. Not a generic “great meeting you”—send actionable insights or specific ideas that move the ball forward. 4. Host the Inner Circle Action: People bond better in a more relaxed setting than over Wi-Fi. Organise an exclusive dinner, roundtable, or cocktail event for a curated group of heavy hitters. Keep it intimate—this is about building relationships, not just showing off. Go easy on the heavy sell. Outcome: People remember who brought them value & connections, not who handed out free pens. Post-event, share any key takeaways & book one-on-one follow-ups to solidify what you started over drinks. 5. Hack the Tech Action: Use every tool at your disposal—event apps, LinkedIn, QR codes. Pre-event, reach out to attendees & book meetings. At the event, swap contacts digitally to keep things seamless, & use a CRM to track every interaction. Outcome: You’ll leave the event with an organised roadmap of leads, not just a stack of business cards destined for a desk drawer. Follow up strategically with segmented, value-driven emails & keep the momentum alive. The Bottom Line: Trade fairs & exhibitions aren’t just networking. Preparation, presence, & follow-up separate those who close deals from those who just collect swag bags. Be human. Don’t think of this as just a branding exercise but an opportunity for long term partnerships. Be genuine - your new contacts will become close contacts, if not friends. Make it count! #revenuegrowth

I’m allergic to small talk. It drains me and makes me want to leave the room. So 17 years ago, I did something about it. Some context on why I hate small talk: The problem with small talk isn't small talk itself - it's that we're on autopilot. We ask the same boring questions and get the same boring answers: • "How are you?" → "Fine."  • "Where are you from?" → standard answer • "What do you do?" → rehearsed elevator pitch You've asked and answered these so many times, your brain shuts down. So do the other person’s. So what’s the alternative? In 2007, I conducted an experiment to find the answer.  I gave 500 people 2 types of questions: • Standard small talk (“What do you do?” “How are you?”) • Script-breaking questions I believed would spark better conversations We tracked smiles, gestures, body language and asked participants to rate how good their conversations felt (1 = awkward / 5 = amazing). The results: The questions "How are you?" and "What do you do?" consistently received the lowest ratings. Yet these are the questions we ask most often! Here are the 3 questions that scored highest in our research: 𝟭. "𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆?" This is my go-to replacement for "How are you?" It forces people to think about what's been good, instantly shifting them into a positive mindset and giving you a more engaging answer. ____ 𝟮. "𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆?" A perfect replacement for "What do you do?" It gives people permission to talk about what truly excites them, not just their job title.  If they love their work, they'll tell you. If not, they'll share a side hustle or personal passion. ____ 𝟯. "𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻?" People love talking about their passions. Even if someone doesn't have one, it opens the door for you to share yours. There was a fourth question we tested: "What's your story?" This one polarized participants. They either loved it (5/5) or hated it (0/5). Extroverts lit up with this question while introverts wanted to run away. I recommend using this only after you've established rapport. — If you hate small talk like I do, it's not that you're antisocial. You're just bored with autopilot conversations. Go on a small talk diet: Cut out "What do you do?" and "How are you?" completely. Try these 3 questions and see your conversations go from “😐”  to “🤩.”

Trust is not built in townhalls. It’s built in tough conversations. As a CHRO, I’ve learned this over the years: Transparent communication → builds credibility. Credibility → builds trust. Trust → makes communication easier. It’s a cycle. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: Most trust isn’t broken by big failures. It’s broken by small inconsistencies. Overpromising. Sugarcoating feedback. Delaying bad news. Saying one thing. Doing another. However, honesty doesn’t mean being heartless. But being unclear or dishonest in feedback is a disservice. When we dilute the truth to avoid discomfort, we don’t protect people. We prevent them from improving. Clear feedback, delivered with the right intent, signals respect. It says: “I value you enough to be real with you.” The same applies to bad news. At work. In business. Even in relationships. An honest admission is far more respected than a promise that isn’t kept. In the short term, transparency feels risky. In the long term, it builds unshakeable credibility. But there’s one condition: Your actions must match your words. Because communication alone doesn’t build trust. Alignment does. On a lighter note, brands have taught us that “2-minute noodles” often take 10…. And “free pizza if late” usually comes with fine print 😊 The lesson? Messaging may attract attention. Reality builds credibility. And in the end, actions will always speak louder than the smartest slogan. What’s one moment where honest communication strengthened (or damaged) trust for you? #Leadership #Trust #Credibility #Communication #CHRO #HR #Culture #Growth #Startup 

How Awards Build Credibility for L&D (Even if You Don’t Win) Awards aren’t about collecting trophies — they’re about amplifying credibility. When respected industry bodies recognize your work, it shifts the narrative from “we think this matters” into “others agree this matters.” That external validation is one of the most overlooked ways to build credibility as an L&D leader. Why awards help credibility: • Third-party recognition acts as social proof and authority — two of the most reliable credibility cues in persuasion science. When respected outsiders validate your work, decision-makers pay attention. • In a low-trust environment, independent endorsements matter. Research shows credibility is a core driver of acceptance; external validators reduce perceived risk for leaders. • Academic and market studies link awards to stronger reputation and, in some contexts, improved performance and lower risk — signaling quality beyond your own claims. Make awards work for you (this quarter): 1. Pick 1–2 flagship initiatives already tied to business outcomes (retention lift, cycle-time reduction, client satisfaction, cost avoidance). 2. Translate your results into the language leaders use: baseline → intervention → outcome → business impact. 3. Submit, then repurpose your entry as an internal case story. It can be used for onboarding new L&D teammates, briefing stakeholders, and supporting budget cycles for your value proposition. 4. Promote thoughtfully: brief your comms team, create a one-pager, and add the recognition to proposals and executive reports. Remember: submitting isn’t just about winning. It’s about proving — to yourself and to your organization — that your work is worth recognizing. And even if the judges don’t hand you a medal, you’ll walk away with a story you can use to build influence, credibility, and momentum. Trusted Learning Advisors know this: credibility is rarely given, it’s earned and amplified. Awards are one of the most underutilized ways to do exactly that.

When we join a new team or organization, our instinct is often to try and perform. To be charismatic, overconfident and try to show our credentials. To get early "quick wins." But trust rarely forms that way. What actually establishes credibility is listening, observing and helping others feel seen, understood, and safe enough to think openly and decide with you. When people hand something over or let go of something important to them, that is a powerful signal that trust is forming.

𝐀 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲. It didn’t happen in a meeting room or during a milestone moment. It happened quietly, in a one-on-one conversation I almost dismissed as casual. As I explained my thinking, the other person listened carefully and then said something simple: “You don’t sound unclear. You sound like you’re trying to prove something.” That sentence stayed with me far longer than most feedback ever has. Around the same time, 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐰 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐂𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫. 𝐏𝐞𝐰’𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞. To me, this connects with how professionals increasingly judge credibility by clarity, tone, and intent. People seem less persuaded by confidence or authority alone, and more attentive to whether something feels grounded and thoughtfully communicated. Until that conversation, I believed credibility came from being precise, well-structured, and fully prepared. I focused on explaining everything thoroughly, anticipating objections, and making sure nothing sounded incomplete. What I hadn’t realised was that in trying to prove credibility, I was quietly weakening it. When we try too hard to convince, we often add weight where calm clarity would have been enough. That conversation helped me see the difference between sounding prepared and sounding grounded. 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲. 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐝. The people I trust most don’t rush to explain or defend. They don’t fill every silence. They speak simply because they’ve already resolved their thinking internally. Since then, I’ve changed how I show up. I pause more before responding. I write slower. I share less frequently, but with greater intention. I’ve learned that credibility grows when ideas feel considered rather than performed. There’s a line I return to often now: “𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝.” When someone speaks from a place of clarity rather than urgency, people sense it immediately. ♻️ Credibility isn’t built by adding more explanation, more structure, or more certainty. It’s built by removing what’s unnecessary and allowing your thinking to speak for itself. In a time when trust feels fragile, grounded clarity has become one of the strongest signals we can offer. Has a small conversation ever shifted how you think about credibility or trust? LinkedIn LinkedIn News India #PersonalBranding #FutureOfWork #LinkedInNewsIndia #LinkedInNews

Credibility isn't built by being competent. It's built by being predictable under pressure. After three decades working with senior leadership, here's what I've noticed: The highest performers rarely lose credibility because they lack skill. They lose it because their behaviour shifts when stakes rise and everyone around them notices before they do. The neuroscience behind this is straightforward. Under pressure, the brain's threat response narrows focus, accelerates reaction time, and deprioritises the slower, more deliberate processing that good judgement requires. You're still performing. But you're performing from a different neurological state and it shows. Here's how it plays out: 1/ They trade ownership for explanations Something slips, and the first instinct is to explain why. But explanation under pressure reads as deflection. Owning the situation first, before context, signals a nervous system that's regulated, not reactive. 2/ They optimise for speed instead of judgement Fast replies. Instant decisions. Constant availability. It looks like high performance. But reactive speed and considered judgement are literally different brain states. Most leaders can't tell the difference in themselves. Their teams always can. 3/ They blur priorities to avoid saying no Everything feels urgent, so everything gets treated equally. This isn't a time management failure, it's a stress response. When the brain is overloaded, it avoids the discomfort of choosing. But unclear priorities signal weak leadership to everyone watching. 4/ They hide behind process when courage is needed "Let's align on this." "Let's circle back next week." Sometimes useful. More often, they're verbal safety behaviours, ways to avoid the discomfort of a hard call. The people around you know the difference. 5/ They neglect their reputation between big moments They command the room during the quarterly review, then go silent for two weeks while their team waits for direction on what was just agreed. Credibility isn't built in the spotlight. It's built in the quiet follow-through no one applauds. Your credibility isn't decided in annual appraisals. It's decided in hundreds of small moments. → How you respond to bad news. → How you handle pressure. → How you honour commitments. People don't trust potential. They trust patterns. Which of these five shows up for you under pressure? #Leadership #AppliedNeuroscience #Neurogetics #LeadershipDevelopment

"Are you sure you understand Bay Area real estate?" The question hung in the air during my first listing presentation 2 years ago. The prospective client had heard my accent and immediately doubted my expertise. I could have been defensive. Instead, I opened my laptop. What I showed them: → Market analysis of their neighborhood with 6 months of comparable data → Pricing strategy backed by hyperlocal trends they hadn't considered → Marketing plan that reached buyers in 3 languages → Track record of clients who chose me specifically for my cultural competency Their home sold for $85K over asking in 12 days. Here's what I learned about building credibility when people make assumptions: 📌 Lead with data, not defensiveness. Let your preparation speak louder than your pronunciation. Over-prepare for every client interaction until your expertise becomes undeniable. 📌 Turn your difference into an advantage. My accent signals that I understand multiple markets, cultures, and buyer perspectives. What some see as a limitation, smart clients recognize as a superpower. 📌 Build alliances, not just client relationships. Other agents who initially questioned my abilities became my biggest referral sources once they saw my results and professionalism. 📌 Let results speak for themselves. Every successful transaction builds credibility. Every satisfied client becomes proof that competence isn't measured by how you sound. 📌 Document everything. When people doubt your abilities, having concrete evidence of your expertise becomes crucial. Save testimonials, track results, showcase outcomes. The turning point came when I stopped trying to sound "American" and started leveraging my authentic voice. My accent isn't a bug - it's a feature that helps me connect with the fastest-growing demographic in Bay Area real estate. Today, clients seek me out specifically because of my background, not despite it. To other professionals facing similar challenges: Your accent tells a story of resilience, adaptability, and global perspective. In the right market, that's not a liability - it's a competitive advantage. #career #authenticity #immigrant #RealEstate #personality